chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
