Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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