GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
