wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
