Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
