it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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