Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I don't think brook has ever known best
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I AM VODKA MAN
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
