perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
