I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
