Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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