Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
