There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
