Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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