Will you blow on my dice?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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