she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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