1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
