Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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