Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
