Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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