Pappa wants mamma naked
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize