I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
