I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
