Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My life is pants optional.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
