marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize