i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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