well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
