I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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