i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
