I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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