You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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