I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
