I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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