I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
