she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
