the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
