so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
