you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
