You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
