the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
