What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
