We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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