So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
