he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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