is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
