What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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