Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
