Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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