We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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