There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I am spending my child support on dildos
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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