It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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