Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
