the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
