you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
