So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
