he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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