i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
