...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
