East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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