its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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