highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she peed on how many people?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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