What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
