im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
