I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
